Mikel's Sideway Pass No. 27 aka Thus Spoke John Obi Mikel

AFTER THIS JOHN Obi Mikel returned again into the mountains to the solitude of his cave and withdrew himself from men: waiting like a sower who has scattered his seed. His soul, however, became impatient and full of longing for those whom he loved: because he still had much to give them.

One morning, however, he awoke before dawn, reflected long on his bed, and at last spoke thus to his heart:

“My enemies have grown powerful and have distorted the meaning of my teaching, so that my dearest ones are ashamed of the gifts I gave them. The hour has come to seek my lost ones!”

With those words John Obi Mikel sprang up, but not like a frightened man seeking the air, rather like a seer and a singer whom the spirit has moved.

John Obi Mikel went down the mountain alone and met no one. But when he reached the bank of the great river of Zola, there suddenly stood before him a young man, who donned a Torres No. 9 shirt. And the young man spoke thus to John Obi Mikel:

“This wanderer here is no stranger to me: he has been a disciple of prophet Makelele. I have seen him stand between the defense and midfield spraying sideway passes toddlers can execute in their sleep.

"Is it not true, John Obi Mikel, that you have never done a step-over? Is it not accurate that you do not score goals nor provide assists? When you attempt to shoot, does the sky not cringe as it prepares to take a blow to his abdomen?"

Upon hearing these words that poured out like vicious poison, John Obi Mikel shook his head and spoke thus to the young man:

"You, worshiper of false idols! You who is blind to the true sublime! Have you not yet heard of it, that the God of silly step-overs is dead!

"My passes may swing from side to side like a pendulum, but is that not what kept the golden clock ticking? Or have the bejeweled frame of the old time keeper fooled your senses?

"It is true that I dwell in the shadows working for the highest of virtues that is ball circulation, but your prejudices have also blurred your visions to my dealings in the attacking third."

"Take this one instance from our battle against the invasion of the Magpies at the foot of the Stamford bridge. Our initial attack was broken down by one of the midfield generals in black and white stripes. 

"We would have had to retreat back into our camps if not for my vital interception of the artillery which allowed us to returned to the front line and continue our assault with captain Hazard's lead."

"And with excellent skills, captain Hazard was able to take a blow to the Magpies defenses. It was not a deadly blow, but a sizable one.

"So, young one, next time you hear the gold clock mark the hour with powerful bangs, remember the deeds of the quite pendulum."

Thus spoke John Obi Mikel.

And as he walked away from the young man, John Obi Mikel pulled out his iPod before slowly slipping on his ear buds. He put the music on shuffle, and smiled as the first tune kicked in. It was "Talkin' Bout A Revolution" by Tracy Chapman.

Carefree, wherever you may be...